10/28/17

Well it's been a minute, but guess what? I'm officially employed as a media/marketing/tour associate for America's New Romantic Piano Sensation (I love that description too much to exclude it). I've been learning a ton so far and am eager (and slightly nervous) to go on his holiday tour this December, but it's happening! This is really purely a maintenance post. Above is the sky in Indiana, Pennsylvania this morning as we left from a gig. 

Between working from 9 AM - 4 PM and then directly going to babysitting for an (admittedly extremely lovely family) every day, it's been a crazy amount of work and change. However, it's a huge relief to be out of the introspective rabbit hole of unemployment and self-incited drama. I mean, it's me, so there will always be a decent amout of self-incited drama, but at least now I have it somewhat in check. ;)

10/4/17

After weeks of trying to rally the troops (and by the troops I mean, like, 2 of my old friends), I finally convinced my parents (bless them) to drive out to Avon with me and see the very much insta-famous sunflower field that I've been obsessing over. Pretty much immediately after my breakup, I came across the Prayers for Maria Sunflower Field online and become majorly obsessed. Not only are sunflowers just a generally uplifting omen, but my complete lack of knowledge about the place being shattered the moment after a major life change seemed like a Sign. We went, and it was awesome. 

With fall leaves finally arriving in Cleveland and cool, crisp air FINALLY descending upon us, I'm just so happy that summer's gone. Which is weird for me, since summer is normally my absolutely favorite season, for the weather, the general summer lore of teen movies and novels, and kids running around having a good ol' time. But this time, the turning of the season to fall has felt regenerative and tasty. I'm getting into a groove of things-- interviewing for jobs, babysitting for a new family, etc., but my pace is admittedly slow. But, tbh most importantly, I'm so relieved and so happy to be here and to be focusing on my own life again. 

So no big news so far. But enjoy these lovely and tasteful photos of my parents. 

Home again, home again

Generally, I would say that the average citizen of the world does NOT want to hear the trials and tribulations of a currently-unemployed, fresh-out-of-a-fancy-private-college, twenty-two year old woman. Like, tbh, I don't even want to hear about them. However, I, unfortunately, have found myself in this role. Well, as a hardcore journaler and general oversharer, I figured, why not write my ass of about this situation? And besides, I can't take myself seriously whenever I remember I have a Professional Website™ and my own URL in spite of the fact that my life is in a considerable amount of shambles.

Anyway, here's the deal: I'm supposed to be this, like, hustling-ambitious-playwright-woman, holding the reigns, kicking ass and taking names, but I'm at a point where all I know I'm passionate about is RuPaul's Drag Race and self-medicated with makeup tutorials. After a highly tumultous post-graduation summer of job searching, babysitting, supressing my feelings, and quitting the aforementioned babysitting job (being accosted by their scary dad), I chose to leave NYC in order to move back to Cleveland-- or Believeland, as those closest to me know it. And, in the wake of that decision, my relationship of two and a half years came to a close. It was a very amiable breakup (we still are sustaining our snapchat streak), but inevitably, it's been shitty. In general, I feel like I'm riding a bike without training wheels, preparing to careen off into oblivion at any moment, but extremely excited that I'm getting anywhere at all. 

My mom keeps referring to this list of life's most traumatic events as a way to assure me that the way I've been feeling is, in fact, normal, and not a sign of the end times. All things considered, I think I'm actually doing shockingly well. However, seeing that 1) loss of a relationship, 2) moving to a new city, and 3) job search all have a place on this list is comforting-- kind of in the same way that period cramps are comforting, in that you can use them as an excuse to getting out of shit you don't want to do. I hope that makes sense. 

So. In my slight doom-and-gloom, laying in my away-at-college sister's bed, I've begun to assess just what I want to do with this fresh, shiny new leaf I've turned over for myself. Become Instagram famous? No. Go back to New York? Honestly, not at all. I'm unsure. Again, the flailing is real. There are years of creative projects I've been putting off, stuffed into the dark corners of my mind, that I've been slowly trying to dust off and bring back into the light. But mostly, I'm just trying to be grateful for everything that I have and positively visualize my way to glory. I don't know what's going to happen, but I'm intrigued as to what's about to unfold. 

So ya, maybe no one really wants to hear the ins-and-outs of my everyday, BUT! This is my attempt to take myself (and my own journey) seriously (lol) and revive my creativity, even if that means single-handedly dredging it up from the dirt in which it lays. JOIN ME!